Heathen Girls by Luanne Jones

Buy it here at:
http://www.amazon.com/Heathen-Girls-Luanne-Jones/dp/0778322823

or I'll sell it to ya' for five bucks or to the highest bidder. Email me.

Anyway, personally, I assign this to the chick lit genre, even though it doesn't really fit the Wikipedia definition : http://http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chick_lit

I call anything that involves a lot of women as the primary characters chick lit.

Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, here's my review (and it is nothing like the reviews I have written for the British Nazi. Warning: Poor grammar, bad spelling and rambling may be ahead. And maybe even behind.)

Let's keep this as succinct as possible. (that line alone makes me laugh, as I struggle big time with brevity when I am writing.)

Charma Deane, Bess, and Minnie were cousins and best friends. They spent many summers together at the Aunt farm (a family home). For the record, Charma Deane and Minnie seemed pretty normal (if not a bit doormattish...is that a word?) Bess, on the other hand, was what I would call a "taker", or even "a selfish little bitch". You know what I'm talking about. We've all had friends like that. Some of us may have even been that friend a time or two. *bows head in shame*

But anyway, the story takes place when they are all grown up (in their 40's - and that's really not that old in case you were wondering) and are brought together because Bitch, I mean Bess, is attempting to evict two of her aunts that now reside in that house.

Okay - my first digression will occur right here: Here's the deal with the two aunts: one aunt is Minnie's mother, who was the second wife of Minnie's father(now deceased). The other aunt is his first wife. Huh?! What's up with that? Why in the heck would first wife & second wife be living together? Either I skimmed over that part or I just chose not to buy into that crap, but that part was definitely not feasible to me. I don't know, I'm a damn yankee, maybe they do things differently in the south.

Moving on. Charma Deane has not been in touch with Bitch, I mean Bess for 20 years, since Bitch, I mean Bess stole her fiance from her the day before the wedding, or the day of, or somewhere around that time frame. Oh, and this was like 8 years or so after Bitch, I mean Bess, pushed Charma Deane off of a dock, which ultimately caused an accident that cost Charma Deane's daddy his life. Huh?! If it was my cousin, she'd be lucky to still be alive at this point. But I digress....

There are all sorts of reunions going on in this book, and I really got a kick out of them. I mean, let's face it, it might be kind of fun to run into your first love (if you were single, he was single and hadn't turned fat and ugly) or even into an old friend who wronged you. (I curse all of you old friends who have wronged me!!) That's kind of what this whole book is about.

I'd like to think that my past life (before marriage, before kids) doesn't really matter. I mean, does it matter that your high school boyfriend cheated on you all the time? Or that he was controlling and domineering? Does it matter that people didn't like you because you were quiet (NOT STUCK UP LIKE THEY CLAIM!), or that people claim you gave them dirty looks all the time? (ummmm....sorry I didn't feel like smiling at you. You are only the 20th girl this week to be after my cheatin' loser boyfriend, you skank) Does it matter that your high school best friends (L, S, C, D) have all but abandoned your friendship for stupid, strange, unknown and/or questionable reasons?! OOPS! I forgot about the book review...

Anyway, so the book has all sorts of groovy reunions. Cousins, aunts, old boyfriends, etc. It's actually about healing old wounds. I know we'd all like to believe those days are dead and gone, but are they? Wouldn't it be nice to really have closure on some of that crap?

Bitch, I mean Bess, is dying of cancer. This book is really about Charma Deane, but her commitment to Bit...okay, I'll call her Bess now - her commitment to Bess is what helps her to heal and enables her to see things as they REALLY are. Did Bess really cause her father's accident? Did Bess really steal her fiance?

Funny how our mind convinces us of things that aren't always true, and it may take years, maybe even a lifetime, before we can really see the truth. In fact, many of us never get that chance.

So, in conclusion, I would recommend that you read this book. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll say, WTH?!, but overall, I really think you'll enjoy it. And who knows, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about forgiveness.

I give it four thongs.